Thursday, November 17, 2011

Here I come VA... I hope.

Next Tuesday night, I am supposed to be leaving with my parents and Aubrey to go to have Thanksgiving with my brother and sister-in-law.

I am freaking out. I am a mess!

I want to go. I really do. But I don't want to go. I am terrified driving all that way. It is a nine hour trip to Virginia and back again. All I have done today is think about getting into an accident and dieing. I have been sobbing about it all day long! The thought of leaving J and not coming back to him with Aubrey is frightening.

I told my mom I didn't want to go because I don't have the money and because I am scared. All she did is brush me off and tell me I am overreacting. This is a real fear. I am not overreacing. I have not slept well because when I try to fall asleep all I think about is what could happen to me and Aubrey. I had this same fear when I drove to Cinci for the bachelorrette party and again for the wedding. Yes, I made it there and back perfectly fine but that was only a three hour drive. The longer on the road, I feel, the more chance I have of getting into a life threatening accident.

I'm not worried about myself of my mom being a bad driver but everyone else around me. What if someone is texting and driving? What if someone drives too fast and loses control? What if someone gets on the expressway in the wrong direction? (Which seems to happen in Ttown at least once a month!)

I don't know what to do to relax and not think about all the bad things that could happen. I just want to keep Aubrey and myself safe and the only way I can do that is by staying put!